Conflict Avoidance In Relationships: What Is It And Why Does It Happen? - Makin Wellness (2023)

FAQs

Why is avoiding conflict healthy for any relationship? ›

By avoiding conflict, you are not able to express your true feelings. You store up your frustrations and keep them to yourself. This can cause you to feel stressed and anxious. It can also have negative impacts on your overall health and well-being.

Conflict avoidance is a person's method of reacting to conflict, which attempts to avoid directly confronting the issue at hand. Methods of doing this can include changing the subject, putting off a discussion until later, or simply not bringing up the subject of contention.

1. Simply Ignoring the Issue at Hand. A common form of conflict avoidance is to deny there is an issue at all. As an example, two colleagues might disagree regarding an approach to a particular problem.

"The negative side effects of conflict avoidance are often high turnover, a dysfunctional working environment, strained communication, loss of productivity and impaired teamwork," Hearn said.

Being conflict avoidant means exactly that: being afraid of possible disagreements at all costs. Aside from our work life, avoiding conflict can manifest in our romantic relationships, friendships, and even family dynamics.

Conflict avoidance can have several negative consequences in relationships. First, it can lead to resentment, frustration, and contempt. It can also cause communication to break down and lead to distance in the relationship.

Avoidance-avoidance conflict is when a person has difficulty choosing between two unfavorable options. Examples of this include choosing between surgery or radiation treatments for cancer, or choosing between a lower salary at work or unemployment.

Kenneth Thomas and Ralph Kilmann developed five conflict resolution strategies that people use to handle conflict, including avoiding, defeating, compromising, accommodating, and collaborating. This is based on the assumption that people choose how cooperative and how assertive to be in a conflict.

Consider therapy

identify your fears. reframe your thoughts on conflict. build positive communication skills. practice verbalizing your feelings.

Pros: Avoidance can be appropriate when you need more time to think about the conflict and how to best approach it. Cons: When the avoidance style is used by a teammate, it can lead others to believe that might lack concern about the issues creating conflict.

What do you call a person who avoids conflict? ›

If you are a pacifist, you avoid physical confrontations. The beliefs and actions of peacemakers can also be described as pacifist, as in someone whose pacifist beliefs lead him to take part in nonviolent protests against a war. Definitions of pacifist.

Some of the most common conflict avoidance approaches include: Effective management. Potential problems can be analysed and managed by proactively planning future work and raising issues of concern early. Ensuring clear contract documents.

The 'fawn' response is an instinctual response associated with a need to avoid conflict and trauma via appeasing behaviors. For children, fawning behaviors can be a maladaptive survival or coping response which developed as a means of coping with a non-nurturing or abusive parent.

Remember, you've got to connect to correct so showing empathy and compassion if your partner is a conflict avoider is the best way to create a space where they'll start sharing what's real. In this same vein, you want to emphasize that you're a team; you're not going anywhere and you'll get through this together.

Conflict in relationships has been identifying as a significant stressor. It triggers strong emotions and can result in one person hurting another's feelings. Most often than not, disappointment and discomfort are associated with conflicts handled in an unhealthy manner.

Identifying Avoidant Behaviors in Your Partner

Not saying “I love you” or other expressions of love. Deflecting conversations about further commitment, such as monogamy, engagement, or marriage. Dismissing or mocking a partner's attempts to be closer, or to engage on a deeper level.

People with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) or anxiety are especially likely to use avoidance to dodge triggers or potentially harmful environments. Others may practice the behavior because they struggle with their emotions in general.

Avoidance is typically considered a maladaptive behavioral response to excessive fear and anxiety, leading to the maintenance of anxiety disorders. Exposure is a core element of cognitive-behavioral therapy for anxiety disorders.

Balancing the 3 C's: Communication, Conflict Resolution and Commitment.

How do you resolve conflict in a relationship? ›

Avoiding. Avoiders deliberately ignore or withdraw from a conflict rather than face it. Avoiders do not seem to care about their issue or the issues of others. People who avoid the situation hope the problem will go away, resolve itself without their involvement or rely on others to take the responsibility.

High conflict people (HCPs) have a pattern of high-conflict behavior that increases conflict rather than reducing or resolving it.

What types of trauma cause the fawn response? The fawn response is most commonly associated with childhood trauma and complex trauma — types of trauma that arise from repeat events, such as abuse or childhood neglect — rather than single-event trauma, such as an accident.

Emotional avoidance is when a person avoids thoughts or feelings about a traumatic event. This type of avoidance is internal to the person; others around you may not know what you are avoiding and why.

Demands for time and attention

Since dismissive avoidants tend to value independence and focusing on themselves, focusing on others can be a considerable burden. They're likely to get triggered when their partner demands too much of their time and attention. They perceive the situation as follows: “I'm losing myself.”

Communicating with empathy, using “I” statements, and avoiding blaming and criticism are some of the ways to help avoidant partners feel safe enough to express their thoughts and feelings, as well as change their behaviors in time. “The most important thing in communication is to hear what isn't being said.”

What are 3 impacts that conflict can cause? ›

This can lead to mental health problems in people who are targeted and in others. Problems include post-traumatic stress disorder, anxiety, depression, substance misuse, and (rarely) precipitation of psychosis.

Conflict can lead to either breakdown in the relationship, the family, friendship, or work environment. Or it can lead to creative solutions and improved relationships. To help clarify each portion of this guide, scenarios are included to humanize the principles being discussed.

Listen to pronunciation. (uh-VOY-dunts) The act of staying away from people, places, and thoughts that may cause anxiety, pain, or unpleasant feelings.

Avoidance and escape refer to behaviors where people either do not enter a situation (avoidance) or leave situations after they have entered (escape). Distraction is considered to be a subtle form of avoidance behavior. Avoidance and escape are natural mechanisms for coping with many kinds of pain and trauma.

Someone might avoid triggers such as people, places, and things that may incite uncomfortable feelings. Those dealing with social anxiety, for example, might avoid crowds of people or hanging out with a group of friends.

What is conflict avoidance behavior? Conflict avoidance, also known as complaint avoidance, is when a person avoids discussing issues with their partner to avoid confrontation or an argument. People may do this as a way to preserve harmony in the relationship.

Researchers suggest that there are early childhood experiences that contribute to avoidant behaviors and personality disorders. These are not necessarily causes but may increase the risk of developing AVPD. A major factor in early childhood that may shape personality and lead to AVPD is parental interaction.

avoidance (n.)

late 14c., "action of emptying," from avoid + -ance. The sense of "action of dodging or shunning" is recorded from early 15c.; it also meant "action of making legally invalid" (1620s), and, of an office, etc., "becoming vacant" (mid-15c.).

The exact cause of avoidant personality disorder isn't known. However, it's believed that both genetics and environment play a role. It's also believed that avoidant personality disorder may be passed down in families through genes, but this hasn't yet been proven.

Why do people have avoidance issues? ›

Anxious people can be susceptible to avoidance coping because initially, it appears to be a way to avoid anxiety-provoking thoughts and situations. People who are prone to anxiety might have learned avoidance techniques early on and therefore might find it more difficult to learn proactive strategies.

When in social situations, a person with avoidant personality disorder may be afraid to speak up for fear of saying the wrong thing, blushing, stammering, or otherwise getting embarrassed. You may also spend a great deal of time anxiously studying those around you for signs of approval or rejection.

Avoidance behaviors include extreme ways to get out of specific activities that cause uncomfortable thoughts and feelings. These can be extracurricular activities, spending time with family members, going back to school, dates, or other social situations.

Avoidance behaviors are any actions a person takes to escape from difficult thoughts and feelings. These behaviors can occur in many different ways and may include actions that a person does or does not do.

Other traits Masini says are telling of conflict-avoidant people, that both influence their aversion of confrontation and result from it, include being passive and co-dependent, conforming to the status quo, and feeling uncomfortable under pressure.